Say goodbye to all your friends, Erasmus students.
You will hear many people tell you that Erasmus experiences are one of the best things you can do with your life. You will often hear these beings known to all as "ex-Erasmus students" rave on about the beautiful city they found themselves enveloped in, the incredible friends they made, and just generally the life-changing adventure they had.
However, there is a catastrophic catch that comes with embarking upon an Erasmus exchange, one that is so huge and life-altering, it may actually call question upon such endorsed undertakings: they literally make you the worst kind of person. And I mean the worst. As in, you make Satan and his croonies look like angelic beings of goodness, and Martin Shrekli seem decent. Here are just some of the reasons why:
1. You can't stop talking about the awesome time you had during your year abroad.
You don't mean to keep bringing it up in conversation; it just happens to be the case that every little thing someone says reminds you of a great story you just have to tell about your time abroad... Regardless of this uncontrollable necessity, you cannot help but cause an extortionate amount of dental damage, due to the constant teeth-grinding of your jealous conversation companion.
2. That's when you even bother talk to your friends at all - you're so independent now, it can feel like you don't really need anyone.
You're so used to being such a strong and mighty fine city-roamer, you are kind of used to being by yourself and appreciating every darn second of it. Thus, this can be a tad annoying for your friends who would occasionally like to see the face of their darling comrade once in a while...
3. You're so bad-ass and capable now, that you're pretty much an employer's golden dream.
Although such jobs sites such as Unono jobs are great at finding everyone work, Erasmus students are always going to have that employability edge. You've learnt how to deal with studying, living, and loving...life in a foreign land away from the one of your birth, and the language that surrounded you since infancy. You've also managed to pick up some rather fancy skills that make you the pick of the employability pack. This cannot help but at least slightly irk those friends of yours whom you know are still struggling with the enduring nightmare that is the post-graduation job search...
If you would like to see a full list of reasons why Erasmus students are just too amazing and employable, check out this article here: http://unono.net/7-reasons-erasmus-students-are-so-damn-employable/article/3427
4. Plus, your second language skills make you too damn sexy for other people to bear.
Whether it is just knowing your beer from your cerveza, or the sultry tone of voice that flows out of you as you adopt your exotic tongue, you leave your surrounding citizens defenceless against your deafening sex appeal. Despite this attracting a great number of gorgeous gents and luscious ladies, it cannot help but overwhelm others at times...
5. At the same time, you're so darn annoyingly hard to hate.
Despite the fact that you are pretty much a pinnacle of perfection and the subject of many eyes of envy, people cannot hate you, even though they really, really, want to; as you have learnt how to live with and love people from many a different culture to yourself you can pretty much get on with anyone with an unmatched tolerance and loveable charm. Your appearance of perfection thus remains unrivalled and is the source of secret resentment to a great many.
6. Your Facebook profile causes a grudge to humongous to disparage.
People still remember the times when they found themselves a bitter witness of all the photos of you having a great time whilst they were stuck in their rainy old country, listening to lecturers drone on and dealing with exam stress. They can never quite forgive you for that.
7. Your coolness transcends national borders.
You have mixed with people all over the world and picked up the best parts of their cracking nations and cultures, whilst maintaining the coolest aspects of your own rather spiffing heritage, meaning that you have pretty much merged yourself to be the best of the darn planet. Sure, your legendary status may not quite be out of this world yet, but you're certainly showing the rest of your fellow earthlings how it is damn done.
8. As does your open-mind and incredible intelligence.
Not only has it been shown that learning a second language raises your IQ and just generally makes your noggin a little bit shinier and brighter, but as you have been exposed to new ideas and ways of being, you cannot help but think beyond what one culture can ever teach you. This, thus, forever succeeds to annoy your home friends, not least because it has made you even more restless and indecisive as you know there is so much choice out there...
9. You have so many cracking future holiday destinations due to you having friends from all over the world.
Sometimes, it is just a little too difficult to hide your smug satisfaction when you see your friends traipsing the wild terrains of the world wide web, embarking upon that quest to find a decently price hostel that isn't a rat-infested cave of a place, when you know that you have the promise of a comfy bed and top-notch hospitality, without having to spend a dime, in a great many of places...
10. People know they have already lost you to a life-time of travelling and exploration.
To be honest, the real reason why Erasmus students are the worst kind of people is simply to due this: once this desire for freedom and adventure has been released inside you, it is hard to refrain from following this impulse for adventure once again. This simply means for the people around you who truly love you for the exceptional being you are, they know that they are going to have to deal with losing a small part of themselves, as they must let you go off, galavanting across the globe.
So be warned, darling fellow humans: you may go on your Erasmus exchanges and have the time of your life. Just be aware of the kind of disgusting creature of hatred and loathing you will be on your return.