If you don't agree, you can go fry asparagus.
One of the best things about foreign language learning is that you get to gage into the unique mind-set of its speakers as it is through the differences, both lexical and grammatical, between all the dialects and ways of speaking known to man that help us gain an insight into the underlying philosophies of these great nations. Through them, we can learn how family is viewed and valued in their cultures, and how time is also construed, which perhaps can explain the efficency vs. the fiesta/siesta lifestyle dichotomy...
Yet, one great thing about learning other languages is that sometimes, just sometimes, they manage to find the perfect words to frame some experiences universal to man. Whether it is through their imagery that matches the concept too damn accurately, or the fact they seem so ridiculous that they are perfectly suited to the bonkers existence we call life, these following expressions seem should transcend the frontiers of their creator language, and enter all of our hearts.
1. Das ist mein Bier/Das ist nicht dein Bier.
Literal Meaning: That's (not) my beer.
Figurative Meaning: That's (none of) my business
Because, as our friends the Germans truly know, beer is the only business that matters...
2. Tremper son biscuit
Literal Meaning: "To dip your biscuit".
Figurative Meaning: To sleep around.
It seems perfectly apt that this phrase would have been gifted to mankind kind by the luscious people of la terre de amor and sensuality, that is, the beautiful country of France. Even if you find yourself a bit more reserved in your sexual exploits, this is certainly a slightly more delicate way to describe your perhaps more "liberal" of friends..
3. Mónésó'táhoenôtse kosa?
Literal Meaning: Are you still riding the goat?
Figurative Meaning: Have you separated with your partner?
Use this with caution when asking someone who may have potentially had their recently heartbroken by some ice-cold soul bandit; whilst this Cheyenne expression may make a smile appear on their tear-ridden face, it may also make them believe their only choices in life are their now ex-partner, or one of these creatures that, despite being delightful, are not exactly suitable bed companions...
4. Aller se faire cuire un œuf
Literal Meaning: Go cook yourself an egg!
Figurative Meaning: Leave me alone!
We all know that the French cuisine is one of the finest in the world, so it only seems suitable that they believe food to be the only valuable excuse for someone to leave their presence. This expression seems to be the perfect way to advise someone to leave immediately because, whilst the passion in your voice will betray your anger towards this individual, at least you are giving them some advice on how to be productive in their time spent away from you...
5. Occupe-toi de tes oignons
Literal Meaning: "Deal with your onions"
Figurative Meaning: Mind your own business.
Those onions aren't going to mind themselves after all...
Literal Meaning: 'to polar bear'
Figurative Meaning: to pace up and down
Only the stunningly kind beings of the Netherlands could have thought of such an adorably lovely phrase to describe pacing - I mean, "polar bearing"...
7. Mi fa cagare!
Literal Meaning: "It makes me sh*t".
Figurative Meaning: Well...just that something's pretty rubbish really.
Italians are not known for allowing any of their thoughts or feelings to be repressed or retained in the realm of the unexpressed, and so they shouldn't: you might as well say things as they really are. Thus this vulgar expression, whilst perhaps a tad crude, does at least get across la mierda something really is.
8. "Me importa un comino"
Literal Meaning: "I care a cumin".
Figurative Meaning: I couldn't care less.
As well as being beautiful imagery for all that is insubstantial (for what really is a "cumin"?), this great expression from our Spanish friends also manages to bring in some lovely alliteration in its English translations. ¡Qué bien!
9. 'Vete a freir espárragos'
Literal Meaning: Go fry asparagus.
Figurative Meaning: Piss off.
Seemingly less crude than its English translations, this expression still lays the harshness and the bitterness to come through, due to the hard sounds in both the English and Spanish versions. Plus, even if the (most likely deserved) victim of your shouts takes this as a literal request, everyone likes a bit of fried asparagus...
Literal Meaning: To put up a beer tent.
Figurative Meaning: To get married
To be honest, the people of Tibet seem to have nailed what a wedding is quite accurately: an excuse to have a boozy goodtime - as well as celebrating eternal love, of course...
As you can see, despite the differences that lay at the heart of languages and the mentality of their speakers, it is clear we all have the same desire to express our anguish, our happiness, our anger and just basically our essential human nature inherent in all. Some languages just managed to do this a slightly funnier way...